6/18/08 03:07 pm
not a woman of much talk
so Here it goes,
what more do i have to do to prove to you that i care?
just one night, and things have turned ugly
it's been almost 4 years of knowing you,
8 months of dating you,
yet our trust still lies on practically nothing.
despite all these numbers, they don't prove anything. i wish i could though.
its partly, actually, entirely my fault i admit
so i guess,
things are so so messed up right now
till the point that even a 1000 word essay will not be able to salvage,
yknow since last night, everytime i think about how things are now,
i feel like crying. i have to admit i was holding back my tears at some point of yesterday during drinking (and the hangover was the bomb, i swear, i have no appetite whatsoever today)
i can't believe at where we are now.
and i reckon it's all thanks to me.
the world knows i'm the bitch,
okay fine. i'm a bitch.
i guess the meaning of this post is,
whatever i choose to do,
it's partly because it's the best for both of us
and i really don't know what to do, i don't know what's best
it's like trying to jumpstart a car but to no avail,
it's like trying to revive a person from the dead,
it's like a person's too tired from trying
too tired to even try anymore/
what's the right direction of growing up?
sorry i wasn't "happy and willing" to find you,
neither was i able to provide you with answers during the tough phases in your life,
sorry i wasn;t there all the time,
i guess sorry is but a word
sorry we can never go back to where we were.
i feel so much better after typing all this out. maybe now, maybe, i would be able to think better. "i prod my mind, but all i find is a big empty stupid balloon"
a big. empty. stupid. balloon.
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